Third Is the One with the Treasure Chest.

In my post about the first trimester, I said "first is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the treasure chest". We will get our "treasure chest" soon, but it turns out the third trimester had a whole boat load of other "treasures". 

The Body

Waddling

The first day I noticed I was really “waddling” was a particularly warm one. It was probably 70 degrees out and I had been in the office all day, so I decided to walk to the car instead of taking the shuttle. I was wearing a black and white flowy dress, and my giant belly made it look like a tent. I was halfway to the car when I became keenly aware that my black and white outfit paired with my distinct waddle made me look like a massive penguin. I actually do frequently “waddle” when I walk anyway because of a hip deformity that makes one leg longer than another, but the waddle has legitimate reasons in pregnancy. Things are shifting and relaxin, a hormone that loosens all of your joints, makes you clumsy and awkward. It’s necessary to open your pelvis enough for childbirth and it peaks in the third trimester. It affects your entire body though, so the hip pain + extra weight + relaxin hormones making your joints all loosey-goosey gives almost everyone a pronounced “swagger”. 

Weight Gain

Weight gain in the early stages can almost be cute (almost). I had pretty steady weight gain through my second trimester, but in the third I really ballooned up. I’m going to dedicate another post to just the weight gain at another time. 

Appetite & Loss of Appetite

Yes, somehow both happen. My appetite picked up in the second trimester, and early in the third trimester it was borderline out of control. Sometimes I also lost my appetite, especially toward the very end.. It’s not that food didn’t look appealing, I just didn’t have much room for it. There were some days I probably ate less than I did before being pregnant.Then some days I would wake up at 3am and find myself half asleep, eating a bowl of cereal in my completely dark kitchen.

Braxton-Hicks

Or what I call the “useless” contractions. They’re not really useless, they’re getting your uterus to practice for the big day, but they're not really doing much. I started feeling these regularly at about 37 weeks. Some were painful, some I didn’t feel at all. It always felt like something was starting and then never did. It’s disappointing to be feeling uncomfortable contractions for a week straight and have absolutely no progression at all.

Being Humongous

"Are you sure you aren't having twins?"

Eventually, you are just plain huge. I actually felt kind of self-conscious about it sometimes. People I hadn’t run in to in a few weeks would see me and be like “you STILL have a month left?!” Yes…. I know I’m big. Trust me. I know. Yes, I still have several weeks left. I know. It’s absurd. I’m the one living it, thank you very much. I’m not just “belly huge”, though I am huge there as well (sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror before stepping into the shower and think 'holy shit I'm enormous'). I can see it in my face, my arms, my hands, my legs, my feet, my ankles, my butt, my boobs, my everything. I feel like the Michelin man. 

Swelling

Honestly, this is probably my biggest complaint of the third trimester. The weight gain is hard, the fatigue is tough, but there’s good days and bad days. Swelling has been an everyday thing for me. I started to notice it around 32 weeks, mostly in my feet.  A lot of my shoes didn’t fit right by 36 weeks. My feet would be about double the size at the end of the day. By 37 weeks, my hands were swollen every day when I woke up, and by 38 weeks had to start wearing Adam’s shoes. My hands and feet were swollen 24/7, not just the end of the day. I tried to mitigate this by mixing up walking and putting my feet up, avoiding salt, etc., and nothing really helped. Things would get better if I had my feet above my heart for a few minutes, but they would return to their useless brick-like state not long after.

Being Forever Uncomfortable

Strap a giant, awkward, very heavy beach ball to your abdomen and try to get comfortable. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Enough said. Our sleeping situation became a very comical nightly event involving many pillows, a yoga bolster, and me realizing I had to pee AGAIN the second I got semi-comfortable.

Heartburn

Nothing compares to heartburn in the third trimester. Your stomach and esophagus are waaaay higher than they should be, and that hormone relaxin I mentioned before also relaxes your esophagus, allowing acid to bubble up. I tried every natural remedy, but eventually I had to take Zantac twice a day. I didn’t want to, but nothing else worked.

Nausea

This was nothing like the first trimester, thank goodness, but my hunger combined with my peanut-sized stomach created some interesting issues. One bite too many left me feeling like I had literally swallowed a hippopotamus. Fierce heartburn can also make you nauseous. 

The Mind... The So-Near-The-End Pregnancy Mind

Approaching the end

It feels weird to be near the end. It feels like you’ll be pregnant forever, but suddenly you realize that you won’t. It’s like when you realize you’re quitting your job. You’ve been there for so long, there’s no end in sight, and then one day there just is. There’s an end.

Approaching the BITTER end

I consider the ‘bitter end’ to be the last month. You’re full term, you’re huge, nothing is easy or comfortable, you may be *over it*. I’ve had a tough time in my last month. My hormones are changing and I’m super emotional again. I didn’t realize how much it had leveled off in the second trimester/early third trimester until I was suddenly bawling my eyes out over dropping my food on the floor. The fatigue, long days at work, and hormones made me feel really apathetic and withdrawn. Then I would feel guilty. Another woman in my prenatal yoga class had a very similar due date (within the week), and she seemed so cheery and full of energy. I may have come off that way when we shared at the beginning of class, but most days I wasn’t. I had my good days when I felt a pep in my step, but most days I didn’t. I struggled with thoughts and feelings of “what if..?” What if we didn’t spend our 20’s doing enough “without responsibilities”? What if we should have waited? Would we really be in a different place in a few years? Would we have saved more, been better set up for this? Maybe, maybe not. I felt like I was mourning our relationship as I knew it, even though I felt confident having a baby would only make us a stronger couple. I would think of Adam one day coaching the t-ball team and smile. The daydreams like that came as often as the not-so-happy ones. I don’t know if it was the fatigue and stress of it all, or if it was some form of pre-partum depression. I didn’t feel the excitement I thought I should. That being said, I knew I would be enthralled the second we met him. I kept up hope that we would return to our lives, but our lives + 1. We would get back to the things we loved to do that we couldn’t because my body was so different. We would get to meet our little man soon, and we would figure out how to be parents. 

The end of the bitter end

With one week left, I feel a sense of calm and zen and I haven't experienced before. The pain, fatigue, swelling, etc., have just become my normal state of being. I get through the day noticing contractions but not really paying much attention to them (obviously, they aren't that strong). My hips have been aching so badly for so long that it's just another thing. The anxiety has leveled off. Maybe it's just because I'm tired, but I'm basically just chilled out and waiting for things to start. I'm cherishing the rest of my time with just me and him. Ask me again once my water breaks, I may feel differently.

Other Stuff

Slowing down and watching the world fly by

Pregnancy really slows you down. For me, it was mostly physically, but sometimes also mentally. I’m normally a pretty fast-paced person. I multi-task, I manage a lot at work and in our family/personal lives. I definitely think I’m laid back, I know I can sit on the beach and read a book for 6 hours straight. I enjoy my time on the couch doing nothing. The difference is that I would choose when to slow down, and now pregnancy made that choice for me. There were so many times I wanted to do more; clean up the house more, go for a hike, go skiing, walk to the bathroom with ease, etc. In the last week or two I really screeched to a halt. You watch the world keep flying by you, hurried people wearing cute flats, as you slowly put one foot in front of the other.

Setting up the room

To me, setting up the nursery was simultaneously a chore and a pleasure. I like having systems for things. I’ve moved many times, and I enjoy setting up the house and my room. That’s because I’ve done it a billion times and I know my systems. I don’t know baby things. I don’t know the best set up. I don’t know what will work for us and what won’t. I found myself sitting among a pile of teething toys, bath products, diapers, wipes, onesies, cute little shoes, waterproof sheets, wondering how to organize it all. I actually got up and put away my own laundry, because at least I knew where that went. Once we figured out some rhyme or reason to the room it became easier. I would avoid the nursery knowing we still had work to do, but the other day I poked my head in and said “huh! It’s coming along! Good thing…” (38 weeks along).

Panic, no matter what you "know"
I can’t tell you how many times I heard the words “Call us if contractions get strong, don’t ease up with rest or water, and are happening frequently. Call if you get a big gush of fluid.” You’ll know all of these things, but you’ll still freak out over Braxton-Hicks (is it the REAL THING?!), you’ll freak out with random discharge (did I just pee? Was it discharge? Is my water leaking?). A third-time-mom in my prenatal yoga class has been having contractions for days and said “I’m not bothering to call my midwife yet”. I kind of get that now, because I had contractions over the course of a few weeks, but I don’t think any first-timer can have that lackadaisical approach as they get close to their due date and things seem to be *happening*.

Final Thoughts

I can't have final thoughts on the pregnancy because it's not over yet. The third trimester has been a series of ups and downs (I guess much like the other two). The last month hijacks your brain and makes it hard to remember what the other weeks were like. It took me 15 minutes to write those three sentences, and now I'm lost. I'll leave it at that, because that's about the best summary of the third trimester I can give... especially at 39 weeks.