We can all agree that finding a new job sucks. It takes a lot of time, a lot of stress, and a lot of energy. I've been on the job hunt multiple times, but of course never while pregnant. I was suddenly thrust into a whole new world of unknowns (in many ways, really) and realized I may actually be subject to discrimination for the first time. Sure, women are discriminated against in discreet and obvious ways all the time, but being a white woman from a standard middle class upbringing means I haven't really faced much discrimination in my life. Sure, maybe things here and there, but overall my life has been pretty easy in comparison to many.
So many women are waiting to start families because they want to focus on their career first. It makes sense, being more financially stable is a good idea if you want to have kids. The reality is also that having a child wildly changes your life, and not everyone is comfortable or feels they can take a lot of time away work and still advance. I would like to say that many workplaces are very accommodating to mothers in the 21st century, but I don't really know. As I searched for jobs I was mostly concerned about when to tell my potential employer that I was pregnant, and if disclosing that would affect my chances of getting a job.
Discriminating against pregnant women is illegal in hiring process and the workplace, but the answer I consistently uncovered in my research in articles, forums, etc., was to not disclose the information until you at least had an offer (many waited until they actually had the job). Sure, you legally cannot be discriminated against because you are pregnant but there's 100 other reasons an employer could give you for not being offered the job (and who knows, they may be legit, but they also may not).
The next thing I learned was that I would not be protected under the Family Medical Leave Act because I needed to be working for an employer for a year to qualify. Basically, I am not guaranteed paid leave, a certain length of leave, or that my job would be available after my leave no matter where I work. Based on that, I decided I would disclose my pregnancy once I had an offer because if an employer wasn't willing to work with me then I wouldn't be willing to work for them.
I had a pretty typical job search experience: sending out a million applications, resumes, cover letters, hearing back every now and then, stressing, day dreaming, the usual. Eventually I landed an interview and stuck with my plan to disclose after getting an offer. I got the offer and reached out to the recruiter I had worked with (third party, not part of the organization I interviewed with) who happened to be a very curt, business-focused man that I only ever talked to on the phone. I asked to talk to talk to the person I interviewed with, a pleasant, warm, woman that I assumed would know more about how they would handle my needs. He insisted I go through him, so I awkwardly composed an email, hit send, and hoped for the best. Thankfully, my future employer was willing to work with my needs and said I would eligible to return to my job after a leave since I would be fully trained. The recruiter, on the other hand, only referred to my pregnancy as "your... ~situation~" liked I had contracted some unmentionable disease.
The transition to a new schedule and routine has been a little tough, but good overall. We told the whole world a week before I started my job, so my next hurdle was figuring out if/when to tell my training group (~25 people + members of the leadership team that filter in and out daily during training). I could tell right off the bat that it was an accepting and supportive culture, and saw a few rooms dedicated to nursing moms. We had a typical, awkward first ice breaker in which we received a word and had to introduce ourselves in front of the group with an additional 15-20 people from the leadership team, then connect ourselves to the word. The business school flashbacks consumed me. Anyway, my word was cupcake, and as people said their names, word, and anecdotes, I thought "hm, maybe I should just get it out of the way now, tell the whole world! Everyone will know!" Remember, at this point I still don't look pregnant except maybe to those that know me well.
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| He knows the stress of cupcakes. |
After a few days and learning about a few other people with young children in the group, I started to tell smaller groups. I haven't quite figured out how to say it in a way that doesn't feel slightly awkward ("how was your lunch?" "It was okay, but I have to pump so it's a little lonely." "Oh! (perfect segue?) Sorry to hear that..... I'm actually pregnant!") Everyone I have told has been super supportive and excited for me, but I have had a few of those awkward interactions that go like: "Congratulations!" *eye contact* *look at my belly* *back to eye contact* "that's so great!" or "you don't even look it!". I know, that's because the baby is the size of a navel orange right now. Orange you glad I told you that fun fact?
.... sorry.
Anyway, what I learned is that job hunting sucks 99% of the time and being pregnant only adds stress. I chose to disclose sooner than some, but I feel like I made the right choice. I don't want to work somewhere that is unwilling to work with me. Sometimes pregnancy at work feels like some sort of disability (maybe since it's legally classified as one) or elephant in the room, and I still don't feel totally comfortable about it yet. Yes, everyone has been great so far, but I still feel added pressure that I need to be on my game since my job legally isn't guaranteed after my leave. I will become a permanent employee at the end of February, then have to go on leave 3ish months later. That's a bit stressful, but I'm hoping I made a good choice and am somewhere that doesn't see pregnancy as my ... "situation".
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